Spa treatments for the Parseltongued

In the now-I've-seen-it-all category: snake massages. Take a little trip to Ada Barak's Carnivorous Plant Farm in Northern Israel, and you'll get to press the flesh with some snakes: big, small, slithery. For about $80 you can have a mass of snakes (corn snakes, milk snakes, Florida and California king snakes) plopped onto your back or tummy and have them squirm your cares away. Apparently the undulating movement of the snakes is supposed to be soothing -- assuming you have no fear of snakes, that is.

The Time reporter who underwent the massage deserves a medal. Or to be put into an asylum. Whichever. Rather than run away in my skivvies screaming, I prefer a nice Swedish massage -- which now seems like the old-lady version of contact, but I don't care a bit....

Skin smarts: making the grade

Summer's over, but think of autumn and winter as downtime when you can start "studying" to make your skincare grade better next year. At the American Academy of Dermatology, you can take a quiz called "Rays Your Grade" to rate just how well you know your sunshine, SPF and skin cancer facts. 

My grade? a "B". Despite my avid reading of every magazine under the sun (ha), I still apply sunscreen to my face and tend to forget the rest of my skin unless I'm hitting the pool or beach or an outdoor event. Frankly, I hate the sticky feeling of sunscreen -- and that stickiness is an immediate sensation, while skin cancer feels nebulous and improbable. (I know, I know. Evidently remedial tutoring is in order.)

So head over, take the quiz, and see just how smart you need to be to beat the odds.

Preservative-free products

With the growth of Green as a lifestyle there's a trickle-down effect. Ten years ago I wrote a piece for CNN detailing the ins and outs of the organic label on food. Hard to believe now that it wasn't easy to find organic food or products outside of what we called a "health food store." Now I'm buying organic everything at my local supermarket. 

But back to the trickle-down idea. Originally you just had organic food, and you hoped the label meant something. But now there's a whole concept of Green that includes housing materials, for goodness' sake And jeans! The big blocks of how we live, really -- food, shelter, clothing. As for beauty products and skincare, there were hippie chicks who made their own face masks and scrubs, Laura-Ingalls style. And I do remember the occasional magazine article on beauty treatments you could make at home in Seventeen magazine, but not much more.

So it's interesting that there's been an explosion in beauty and skincare of natural products that you treat (significantly, I think) like food. You can't get away with a vague "herbal" label anymore. Take Boscia's skincare line: with no parabens (the usual suspect when you're preserving beauty products), it comes with a "use by" date. It's botanically-based, with no chemicals. What's not to like? But if you're like me you have loads of product in your bathroom cabinets.... so I tend to buy small amounts of these products so I use them within the expiration date. (Here's a link to a best-of-Boscia kit at Sephora.) 

What's your fave "natural" line of products?

Set it... and forget it!

I've long heard friends rave about the smooth finish a primer gives to your made-up face. But this one is new to me: a spray to put on after you've applied everything, called Invisible Finish. Evidently it's like hairspray for your face: your makeup doesn't budge, even if you sleep in it, you naughty girl. (No more raccoon eyes to give you away on the Walk of Shame!)

The idea of sleeping in makeup feels a bit dirty to me, but beauty loopholes are made for products like this. After all, sometimes you apply your makeup and magically have a face that looks so good you want to immortalize it for at least one more day. And $17 bucks (find it here on Amazon.com) is less than the price of professional application... oh, how easy it is to rationalize!

Silly, scary sun damage

For anyone who hasn't realized that the growing SPF ranges are aimed at her: The Sun Tattoo robe!

Directions for use: Put on robe and lie on your stomach in the sun for a few hours, keeping absolutely still. Remove robe. Hurt like hell.

Lovely pattern (if you like the human doily look). It's an anti-henna thing. Or a just-as-risky alternative to an inked tat. Or maybe it's a statement on getting Vitamin D fashionably without having to drink milk?

Frankly, I'm surprised I haven't seen this before. It's much more thoughtful than painting a "dork" sign on someone's chest with sunscreen, isn't it?

Hands-free living?

Earlier this week, I read this NY Times article on how hands are the new beauty market with interest. Sure, there's the requisite doctor interviews and product plugs. But there's also this description of hand model Ellen Sirot's hand-protecting regime:

She said she hasn’t cooked, cleaned or held her husband’s hand in a decade. The latter activity would mean keeping her hands below her waist, which would increase blood flow and make veins more apparent.

What price beauty, eh? 

Now, I don't want to give up holding hands with my husband as well as other handed activities (which currently include letting a teething baby gnaw on my fingers), but I do want pretty hands, so I checked out one of the products mentioned: Moisture Jamzz moisturizing gloves. The gloves come in a bevy of sizes and types (for women! for men! for tweens!), with designs ranging from classic white to sexed-up leopard print. With a little spandex added for stretch, the mostly-cotton gloves are part of an easy-peasy, two-step process: lotion up your hands, put on the gloves, and go about your business. 

The designs are cute -- these could make good stocking stuffers for any hand-obsessed friends. And there's a line of socks, for people like me whose hands are fine but whose feet could use a little TLC. Best of all, they're only $12 -- a price I'm very willing to pay!

Rock the (Natural) Vote

You know how it goes: you buy the yummy-smelling cream in the soothing green jar with artfully-illustrated botanicals. You get home, slather it on, and then check out the ingredients: petroleum, red dye #2, the blood of baby seals, etc.... Don't you wish there were a way to scope out products at a glance?

Here's your chance to cheer for a label designation that means something: Vote Natural. The official campaign is sponsored by Burt's Bees and the folks at the Natural Products Association. It's also endorsed by Julianne Moore, but you didn't need celeb cred, did you? Here's what you're voting for:

• The product must be made up of at least 95% truly natural ingredients, or ingredients that are derived from natural sources
• No ingredients with any potential suspected human health risks 
• No processes that significantly or adversely alter the purity/effect of the natural ingredients
• Ingredients that come from a purposeful, renewable/plentiful source found in nature (flora, fauna, mineral)
• Unnatural ingredients only when viable natural alternative ingredient are unavailable and only when there are absolutely no suspected potential human health risks

I'm a longtime fan of Burt's Bees products (especially their Baby Bee collection, which I use myself as well as put on my own two kids). But really this is about voting for an official seal of approval (much like the "organic" label for food) for personal care products that actually has enforceable statements behind it. Extra special goodies: Vote here and you could win a $500 worth of Burt's Bees products!